


Requiem for Fish

by Riddleisourking, ThiefOfADHD



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But not at all like the movie, M/M, Titanic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddleisourking/pseuds/Riddleisourking, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefOfADHD/pseuds/ThiefOfADHD
Summary: The RMS Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams. Dave Strider was never rich enough to leave Southampton, but when the chance to go to America presented itself, he found that it would soon become the most dangerous thing he’s ever experienced. He’s just a gay boy, he needs no sympathy. Along the way, however, he meets some assholes, some barely-noticeable people, and the plumpest of rumps that belongs to the hottest crewmember he’d ever meet. Your name is Dave Strider, and you wish Aaron Burr would have shot you in the abdomen.





	Requiem for Fish

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this has nothing to do with James Cameron's Titanic (1997) and everything to do with just the Titanic in general

_10th April, 1912_

 

 

“Da---ve!” John called with his usual dorky smile shining through in his voice and he flashed two tickets in front of your face as if he were holding a quarter of a million dollar lottery ticket. “You'll never guess what happened to me today!”

Now, there were two options to select here. You could go the jerk route or you could feign curiosity. But let's be realistic, when are you ever not going to choose the jerk route?

“Let's see here, from the elated look on your face, you either A, got laid or B, you won a lottery ticket and you chose to buy a lifetime supply of gadgets to help make your weird joke toys with.” You drawl in your so very not fake Texan accent. It was definitely fake. “And we both know how unlikely option A is. So that leaves B, but who in their right mind is going to go, ‘huh, we should choose this shorty with buckteeth as our winner. He definitely won't waste this money on making toys that nobody and I mean literally nobody is going to buy until maybe in the late 60s.’ And not even adults will be interested in the toys, unless they're your spawn but I don't want to think about that because that entails the high probability of you eventually becoming a father and nobody is ready for that. Especially me.”

“Haha, very funny, Dave. Are you done yet?” John’s eyes crinkled in amusement and he finally handed the tickets over for your own personal inspection. Well, okay, nothing weird ab-

Wait a fucking hot minute.

“John.” You spoke up quietly, your eyes were not leaving the single line of fine print for even a second. This had to be some kind of joke, there's no way he could have ever afforded these tickets on his own. Not with that shitty part-time job at his father’s joke shop.

“Dave.” You could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice and you finally look up as you held the tickets in your hands tightly.

“Is this some kind of shitty joke? It's not very funny.” There was a slight tremble in your voice but you chose to ignore it. Tremble? What tremble? Haha.

“You think I would joke about getting two tickets onto the Ship of Dreams?” He raised his goofy eyebrows incredulously at you and you wanted to deck him where he stood but you held your ground and just gave the tickets back indifferently.

“So, who’re you going with?” You asked nonchalantly. Who cares if John was going with a lady friend of his? You certainly didn't care. Nope. Just look at you not caring.

His face slowly turned hesitant and doubtful as he eyed you, “Well, I was thinking about inviting you but if you don't want to go-”

“No, fuck that. I want to go.” You say hurriedly like the desperate two-cent whore that you are. “It'll be great. Just you, me, and two thousand strangers all crammed together on a huge ocean liner that’s just starting it's maiden voyage. What could go wrong?” Jinx.

John raised his brows at you nonplussed and he rolled his eyes as he turned back towards the docks and gazed out at the murky waters as they beat rhythmically against the huge ocean liner that they would soon be boarding, “Can you believe it?” John’s voice had gone soft as he clapped a hand on your back and you felt your stomach do somersaults as you grin a tiny bit, “We’re moving to America. Can you imagine all the great opportunities that we’ll have? I could even set up a new joke shop there! And you'll finally be able to get an apartment that’s better than your current crummy one. This is an opportunity of a lifetime right here.”

Of course, you had to ruin the moment, you couldn't just let him talk down to your living quarters.

“Crummy? I'll have you know that I fixed the place up and it's pretty spiffy looking now.” You huff as he gave you a leveled look. Yeah, there was no fooling this guy. “Okay, okay, so maybe it needs a little more work but it's not completely a lost cause yet.”

“You called me a week ago because your bedroom ceiling crumbled and you were worried about the state of your precious artwork.” He teased. It was completely true. All of it was true.

“Well-”

“Excuse me.” A disgruntled voice came from somewhere below you and you had to blink a moment at this new shorty. Even John was taller than him and that was a pretty big accomplishment. Egbert would have to be properly rewarded later, maybe with some smuggled alcohol from first-class because apparently third-class didn't deserve to get completely wrecked on the ship. Then again, you couldn't be too mad, the RMS Titanic had the best accommodations for third-class passengers and really, all you needed was for the ship to do its job and get you and John safely to New York with little to no problems. You didn't need fancy privileges or anything like that. You were content just being with your crush- wait, what? What crush? You don't have a crush on John. Pfft.

“You are two seconds from getting thrown into the harbor if you don't get your thumb from out of your ass and move the fuck out of my way.” The troll growled.

Okay, yeah, the shorty was starting to get impatient and yep, those were definitely ‘I _'m-going-to-kill-you-and-stuff-your-dismembered-corpse-under-my-floorboards-until-I-eventually-tell-the-police-that-yes-I-did-indeed-murder-you_ ’ eyes. You politely step out of the way but nothing was stopping you as you checked him and his grade A ass out. Despite it being Spring, he was wearing an oversized sweater that had holes in it and baggy pants that kind of made you wonder what was going on with his wardrobe. You decidedly just gloss over the fact that his hair was sticking up every which way. It was kind of cute. Slowly, your eyes moved down to his ass and your fingers twitched a tiny bit. Twitchy fingers.

“Uh, Dave?” John called hesitantly.

For a moment, you were worried that your best bro had suddenly become a psychic and heard all your gay as fuck thoughts but you calmly reassured yourself that that could never happen. John was just not cool enough to randomly discover that he had psychic powers.

....Right?

“That's my name, don't wear it out.” You reply automatically as you smoothed back a few strands of your greasy hair.

“Do you wanna meet back here in a hour with our stuff? It's not like we can just leave without clothes.” He chuckled uneasily.

“Oh, fuck. Yeah, okay. Sounds good.” You agree readily. If it got you away from having to talk about how obviously you were checking out the short troll, then by all means, you were down.

* * *

 

An hour later found you waiting on the Southampton docks with two suitcases held in both of your hands. You had only packed for a few days since you didn't own much in the way of clothing and you had packed your art supplies. God knows what else you would be doing on the ship being a third class passenger and all.

The line was long and you were standing in it and as you grew closer and closer to the ticket man, you grew worried but that changed as soon as you caught sight of a tuft of dark hair followed by deep blue eyes that made your heart skip a beat.

“John!” You call loudly and he bounded straight over and took his place in line with you, much to the people in line behind you’s displeasure. Ha, fuck them.

“It took a little longer than I expected getting away from dad.” He explained as he gave you an exasperated look. “He was trying to get me to stay home but really, what fool would miss out on this kind of opportunity?”

“Good question but alas, I don't have the answers you are looking for.”

John rolled his eyes and you smirk as you both finally handed over your tickets and began to board the ocean liner but the ticket master stopped them.

“Third class, huh? You better head over there and get a health inspection. All third class passengers are required to pass it in order to board the ship.” The taller man drawled as his eyes bored into both you and John.

“Health inspection? Just because we’re third class-”

You clapped a hand over John's mouth and sighed as you glanced at him, “Let's just get this over with. It's not like we have anything to hide, right?” You raised your brows at him as you steered him over to where a man was inspecting a woman’s hair for lice.

“Right…” John sighed indignantly.

Once the woman’s check over was done, it was John's turn but instead of watching him, your eyes went straight towards where the handsome troll with the grade A ass from before was boarding the ship. He was sent right in, which meant that he was probably a first or second class passenger. For shame, that effectively ruined your chances with him. Or did it? You could easily just sneak into the first and second class areas- Your eyes went to your paint splotched clothing and you smoothed down your greasy hair. Yeah, that plan wasn't going to work at all but maybe, if you were particularly lucky, the troll would get lost and-

“Next!” The health inspector barked and you quickly took your seat on the small wooden stool just as his rough hands tore this way and that through your precious hair. It made you wince and you bit your lip as a thermometer was shoved into your mouth. John was laughing at you, you just knew it but soon, you were given a clean bill of health and you finally boarded the ship with the traitor.

The wide deck was crowded with excited passengers and they were all at the side and waving to friends, family, and loved ones. For a moment, you considered joining them for the irony but the promise of getting set up in your room sounded more inviting. So, you both squeezed your way past the cesspool of sweaty bodies and made your way to the steerage which hosted the third class passengers’ accommodations. It was by no means easy, you kept getting pushed this way and that but eventually, you made it there and you set your twin suitcases underneath a lower bunk with a sigh. You made it there alive but at what cost? Your job’s a joke, you're broke, and your love life's D.O.A.

John studied you briefly before putting his own luggage on the top bunk that was directly over your own. Luckily for you two, you managed to get a room that only had two bunk beds. Meaning, there'd only be two strangers rooming with you throughout the voyage. And what a miracle that is, all that was left was to hope that they weren't both completely assholes or anything. _Jinx_.

As soon as you thought this, the door to the berth opened and in walked some grade a bitches. For instance, if you were to melt soy sauce and spice, and everything not nice, then that's a pretty accurate description of your new roomies. You deserve all the diplomas for that astute observation. All of them.

The taller of the two trolls had dark hair with a purple streak in it and honestly, you were already pretty weirded out by him. He just had those… dead fish eyes. The other had an unlit cigar between his soft lips and he flashed a grin at you and John. You slowly started weighing your options, was it really worth moving to America if you had to spend the whole trip with these two louses?

“You do an awful lotta starin’.” The cigar smoking guy mused as he stared you down and his fins twitched a tiny bit.

You briefly wonder if it was too late to jump overboard the ship but you figured it'd be a bit too cold to go swimming.

“Yeah, well, you're doing your own fair share of staring.” John pointed out. “But are you two looking for first class? You look like you'd be royalty or something.”

Dead fish eye’s fins flattened and he growled a tiny bit, “Our father decided we needed to be taught civility, so here we are. Enough about it.” He even had a weird accent and you had to bite your lip to keep from laughing openly at him.

“Oh! Well, I'm John Egbert and this is my best friend, Dave Strider.” He offered his hand over to the cigar smoking guy eagerly.

“Cronus Ampora and this is my little brother, Eridan.” He shook his John's hand before turning back and putting his own luggage on the top bunk. Great, this meant that you would have to sleep across from dead fish ey- Eridan.

“Well it's nice to meet you two!” John grinned as he turned to you and you got the sense that you were in trouble for something. You didn't know what but it was something. “Dave, you've been quiet for awhile now. Are you feeling okay?” Ah.

“I'm feeling better than a sea captain that just got home from a long fishing trip into the deep icy waters of the Atlantic ocean and decided to just go ahead and grab a prostitute or two to have fun with but then his wife found out and it kind of all went downhill from there.” You confirmed.

John blinked slowly at you and then looked away, “Well, now that we have our berth picked out, do you want to go exploring?”

“There's probably still a lot of people hanging around near the promenade deck, and even more in the corridors, but I don’t see why not.” You shrugged, having a small hope to see plush-rump troll again with his choice ass.

Cronus perked up, “You guys are leaving? Mind if I tag along?”

Yes, yes you did mind. You minded a lot, thank you very much.

“Um, no thanks.” John butted in suddenly. “We don’t really know you, so um, yeah, we’ll just be on our own, thanks.”  Maybe John wasn't a traitor after all.

“Let's get going. We've got places to go, trolls to see.” You threw an arm around his shoulders loosely and steered him out of the berth and into the crowded corridor.

“Trolls, huh?” He joked, elbowing you. “Didn’t know you were into chicks with horns.” His blue eyes looked at you as a goofy grin spread on his face.

“Troll girls, yeah. Totally into them. I thought we were best bros, how could you not know this about me?” You shook your head dejectedly.

“Well, you never bring up your interests in women, that’s all. You worry me sometimes, making me think that you’re so into your art that you forget that other people exist, y’know?” He tried to ruffle your hair, feeling it. “Dude, you really should wash your hair, do you wipe your oil paint onto it or something?”

“For shame, you've found out my secret. Yes, I like to put yellow oil paint in my hair, it's the only way that I can truly be the best version of myself.” You reply gravely as you opened the door that went out from the corridor and stepped through. “You can't tell anyone about my se-” You ran chest first into a pair of nubby horns and you regretted everything about your life.

“Watch where the fuck you're going, you cuck.” The troll hissed as he rubbed at his precious horns. You wanted to rub at them too.

“I was, you’re just not in my line of sight, nubs.” You leaned down to meet his gaze with a smirk on your face. “I thought trolls were supposed to be all high and mighty and not… kittens.” You purred at him to emphasize your meaning. Totally not hitting on him. Not one tiny bit.

The troll’s famous glare came back to haunt his face and you kind of wanted to kiss it off, “I'm not a kitten. Now, get the fuck out of my way, I need to clean the bathroom.”

“Why would you be needing to clean the bath-” And just like a brick being thrown into your face, the realization of Karkat’s new outfit change and his statement hit you like a brick being thrown into your face. “Oh.” It’s all that can escape your lips. Maybe he wasn’t so out of your league after all. He just works for the ship and has access to everywhere.

“Yeah, laugh it up. If you even can all the way from the steerage.” A slow smirk started on the troll’s plush lips.

“I’ll laugh it up, all right. I’m going right up to the promenade deck just to laugh.” You threatened, trying to fight every urge to try and kiss those plush lips of his. God, it’s like he’s just plush. Plush rump, plush lips, probably some plush di-

You had to quickly shake the thought away before you got carried away.

The troll scowled and as he shifted, his name tag came into view. Karkat. Huh. “Don't make me beat you with my broom. Get moving.”

“Alright, alright. See you later then, general janitor.” You moved aside, taking in the sight of his plush rump yet again. It looked even better in uniform, dear God.

“Uh, Dave?” Your forgotten best bro called amusedly. “Was it really necessary to pick on the janitor? He cleans our bathrooms. Just imagine what he has to go through. Seven hundred people and only two bathrooms.”

“I’ll save him the trouble of one passenger, John, it’s fine. I’ll just pee off the deck. No big deal.” You joke, rolling your eyes. “Besides, I was poking fun, not like I was putting him off for being a troll. What time do we live in? 1787? Come on, I’m not a savage.”

John scoffed and rolled his eyes as the two of you entered the stairwell of G deck, “So, what's first on the agenda today, Mr. Strider? Are you going to paint the ocean blue or maybe the Titanic setting sail?”

“I think I’m going to paint what I have always wanted to paint. The skyline of Southampton. It would be the most glorious thing ever. I’ll even sketch it first before I paint it. A quick sketch.” You told him excitedly.

“You're such a dork.” He chuckled as you both headed towards the top deck.

“Whatever, I’m not as big of a dork as you are, John.” You ruffled his hair, keeping a step or two ahead of him as you climbed up the many stairs to reach the top deck. You wanted to see the ship pull out of harbor. Luckily, there weren't too many people coming and going on the stairs and it makes ascending easier.

As soon as you both made it to the top deck, John leaned against the railing and peered down at all the people that were taking pictures and whatnot.

“John, if you’re trying to get your picture taken, I doubt they’d be able to see your face from all the way down there.” You joked, poking his side.

John scoffed loudly just as the ship started its maiden voyage, pulling from the dock as everyone started cheering and screaming. You found it pretty loud as you watched Southampton slowly moving away. A smile found its way to your face, excitement bubbling in you. Nothing could destroy this moment. Jinx.

Not even a minute passed, and soon, you felt a tiny jerk as you glanced down towards the head of the ship. Your eyes widened as you saw a smaller ship, which was leading the RMS Titanic out to sea having a problem, and what’s worse, the ship was heading straight for it, “Oh shit.” It instinctively fell from your lips, showing John pretty quickly.

John's eyes widened, “Fuck, is this a bad omen?” He asked worriedly.

“I doubt it, probably just a small problem. We’ll be fine. I mean, c’mon, this ship can’t sink. It’s unsinkable.” You looked over at John, trying to convince yourself of its inability to sink. It wasn’t hard, it really was unsinkable.

“Yeah… You're right.” John swallowed audibly as you both watched the smaller ship worriedly.

“Two bucks says we make it.” You told him suddenly, you were gonna make this a bet. You didn’t have two dollars.

“Alright, you're on.” He agreed.

“Have fun losing, Egbert.” You smirk.

Sure enough, the RMS Titanic narrowly avoided hitting the New York and two dollars found it’s way into your hand.

“Pleasure making business with you, Johnathan. Man, I can buy some c-” You paused, looking at John as you winked. “Let’s just say, don’t be jealous if I bring a lady into the berth and lock you and the two fish boys out.”

John looked at you aghast, “Dave! You can't pay people to sleep with you!”

“Well, it's the only way he’ll ever get someone to sleep with him.” A cranky voice came from behind them. You quickly turned to see who it was, holding your freshly won two dollars in your hands tightly.

“I wasn’t going to pay people to sleep with me, I was going to buy condoms so people could sleep with me.”

Karkat raised his brows at you, “Condoms, huh? You think you'll be able to get that far in a week?”

“I’m pretty sure with a tiny bit of washing up, I can get a lady to bed. Two, even. At the same time.” You mused.

“A lady? With the way you've been eying my ass, you're nowhere near straight.”

“WHOA, who said I was eying your ass?!” You pulled Karkat away quickly, glancing back to check if John followed. “Don’t fucking say that shit.” You whispered, a frown on your face. John was instead talking to a tall troll woman with a strange eight eye thing going on. Good.

“What? You're not out yet?” Karkat asked amusedly. “Here you are chasing after me and you're not man enough to admit that you want a bulge up your ass.”

“Who says I’m a bottom?”

“Are you saying you wouldn't want my bulge up your ass? Who are you kidding?” The troll asked incredulously.

“Maybe I want my dick up your ass, shorty.”

“Dave!” John was shocked, having come up behind them.

“John! Hey buddy…”

“Are you gay?” John asked and it was clear from his face that he was very confused.

Karkat glanced between them and he turned around and quietly went back to sweeping. Asshole.

“What? No, I’m not gay, y’know how my irony works sometimes. No, but that troll, he’s gay. He’s definitely gay.”

“Uh-huh.” He rolled his eyes a bit. “When you're done lying about who you are, then you can come talk to me.” He pushed past you and went about sweeping the deck.

John swallowed and he looked at you, “Dave?”

“I-” You bit your lip. “I was going to tell you when I was ready.” As soon as you said that, you hurried off to Karkat, avoiding looking at your best bro as you did so.

Karkat had moved to a corner and he swept all the dust and dirt up into a small bucket with a frown.

“I told him. Are you happy?” You looked at him as you got to him, folding your arms over yourself.

“That's your business not mine but don't you feel lighter now that he knows?” The troll’s eyes slid up to your own before shifting away again as he set the broom aside and finally, he turned to you with his own arms crossed over his chest.

“I mean, kind of, but-” You looked into his eyes, watching him. “I’ve never really done that before, y’know?”

“Yeah, whatever. I doubt it'll change anything though. He seems to care about you and shit.” Karkat grumbled.

“Did you have a bad experience or something?” Your curiosity had peaked as you gently slid closer to the troll, pressing your back against a wall to whatever area of the ship this blocked the deck from.

“You could say that.” He dumped the bucket of dirt off the side of the ship.

“What happened?” You watched him as the dust drifted in the air for a moment before settling back on the railing and the side of the ship. “C’mon, make like that bucket and spill.”

“I guess it's the least I could do after I outted you in front of your friend.” He sighed as he settled against the railing. “You know who the Vantases and the Noirs are, right?”

“Aren’t the Noirs that Russian royalty or something, cause otherwise, I don’t know anything about them.”

“Yeah, those are the ones. Anyways, they're my family and well, when I came out during dinner, the Felt, one of our allies broke the partnership. They didn't want to work under a faggot, so I left. I didn't want to ruin the alliance.”

“That’s a shit reason to break a partnership, nobody is that petty to break something like that over someone coming out unless they’re planning on breaking it. You didn’t ruin the alliance, you would’ve simply given them the absolute worst reason to break it.”

“I've been thinking about going back. My mother wants me to, she doesn't like the idea of me sweeping and cleaning ships.” He grinned a tiny bit. “She worries too much.”

“I dunno, I mean, you have to clean the third class bathrooms. That’s a shit job. Could get sick-”

“But it's okay! Dave said he would just piss over the edge of the boat to make it easier for you!” John clapped you on the shoulder.

Karkat's eyes widened in horror, “What!?”

“John.” You turned to him, pulling him away from Karkat. “John, I was joking, I’m not going to pee over the side of the fucking ship.”

John chuckled loudly, “Did you see his face!? Holy shit!” He couldn't stop laughing.

“John, it’s not funny!”

“It was hilarious! Do you think he’ll let you date him after that?” He asked amusedly.

“I’m not sure, I can go check.” You turned to see if Karkat was still where you last left him.

The troll had his arms crossed and he was glaring at the two of you vehemently.

“Looks like you're going to have to hit him with that Strider charm.” He joked.

“Yes, yes I will.”


End file.
